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  “Nic”—she dropped to her knees in front of him—“what happened?”

  He couldn’t answer her in his wolf form. She knew that. She also understood that depending on how much control he gave his other half, he might not even hear her. It never stopped her from approaching shifters. She’d said she could tell who was in charge by looking into their eyes.

  “You’re bleeding.” She brushed back his fur and gently touched the skin around a long gash. “This wasn’t from a fight, was it?”

  He shook his head, the only answer he could give in his limited form.

  She stared into his eyes. Not a hint of fear showed in her expression. She treated his dad and the other dominants with the respect owed them by avoiding eye contact. Never Nic, at least not in private, but the rules were different around the other wolves. Riley had always understood the need for hierarchy among the members. In the pack’s eyes, she was as low as one could be. In his, she was his equal.

  “Shift and tell me why you decided to drag your sorry ass to my house. None of these cuts need my attention.”

  Not happening. Through his wolf’s eyes, he felt nothing physical toward her. Only his memories reminded him of what it was like to love her. If he shifted? One whiff of her sweet fragrance, and he’d want to devour her.

  On a huff, she pushed to her feet. She planted her hands on her flaring hips. “Fine, be stubborn. I’m in no mood. Go home and lick your own wounds.”

  She spun and walked toward her house. He waited a moment, then followed. The smart thing to do was leave. He couldn’t, not until he apologized. Maybe if he set things straight with her, he could finally let her go. Goodness knew, nothing else had worked.

  At the porch, she glanced over her shoulder. “What the hell do you want? Did you come back to see if you could make me cry again? If so, don’t bother. It isn’t happening.”

  He inwardly flinched at the memory from four years ago. She hadn’t whimpered or bawled. She’d stood with her head held high while he’d flung lies and hurtful words at her, but tears had leaked from her eyes and dripped off her jaw. Each one had left a scar on his soul.

  He lay down and dropped his head on his paws.

  “Goddamn you, Nic.” The words came out as little more than a whisper, but he heard them.

  She snatched her beer from where she’d left it, flung the door open and left it that way. He accepted her unspoken offer and trailed behind her. Without looking to see if he followed, she made her way to a basket of folded laundry near the hallway. She pulled a pair of sweats from it and tossed them over her shoulder.

  “They belong to Alex. I do his laundry. He cuts my grass.” She offered the explanation without prompting, as if she knew he’d automatically think they belonged to a lover.

  Given a moment to digest her words, he would’ve.

  He tugged on the tether to his wolf and willed his human form to emerge. His bones lengthened, fur receded and shape morphed on a bite of pain he welcomed, healing the tiny cuts he’d gotten during his run. The black wolf gave way to his primary form.

  His human senses and needs replaced the more primal drives of his baser half. The scent and visual triggers he’d been able to ignore as an animal hit him full force. His body responded to Riley’s presence exactly as he’d expected. His dick twitched, blood rushing south. He clenched his fists and breathed through the lust.

  Wrong time. Wrong place. Wrong woman.

  He grabbed the pants and tugged them on. “I’m decent.”

  She snorted. “Since when? The Nic I remember was wicked and unrefined.”

  A smile tugged at his mouth. She’d always liked him a little wild. He wouldn’t comment on it, though. It was best he kept his visit as emotionally unattached as possible. Fat chance of that happening, but he’d give it a shot. It was the only hope he had of surviving the next few minutes without giving in to the urge to push her up against the nearest wall and reclaim her body.

  “I meant, I’m dressed.”

  She turned and swept her gaze over him. Her intense study lingered on the growing bulge in his sweats before she dragged her attention higher, skimming over his chest and leaving awareness in her wake. His skin tingled as if she’d licked him.

  Her gaze finally collided with his. Desire simmered in her blue eyes. He waited for her to say something, maybe come to him. Touch him. She didn’t. She merely watched him. The next move was on him.

  He closed the distance between them until only a foot separated them. It was as close as he trusted himself to get. “I came to apologize.”

  She raised a single blonde brow. “For what? I’m leaving on my own.”

  Part of him wanted to order her to stay, but for his own sanity he had to let her go. He shook his head. “For how things ended between us.”

  She blinked, and the warmth faded from her expression. A mask slid over her features, leaving her…not cold, exactly, but distant.

  She tipped her head to the side. “There is no us. There never was.”

  “I know what I said, but you and I both know I lied. You were my first lover.” He brushed his fingertips along her jawline. “My only lover, and I know you were faithful to me.”

  “And? What’s your point?”

  He dropped his hand. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

  “No.” She shook her head. “I simply don’t know what you’re trying to get at.”

  “I’m saying you were my girlfriend.”

  “I was a warm, wet body to fuck when you were horny, nothing more.”

  He flinched at her response.

  The corner of her mouth lifted in a small smile that never reached her eyes. “Or were you referring to the fact that I was the worthless bitch who tried to trick you into mating—”

  “Stop.” He squeezed his eyes shut. The image of her from that night flashed before him anyway. She’d stood beside her bed, his seed on her inner thighs and blood covering her shoulder while he raged, flinging vulgarities at her.

  “Why, Nic?” Her voice lowered. “Why should I stop? Is the truth not even allowed in private? Between us?”

  He turned his back on her. “Dammit, Riley. Why do you have to be so fucking—”

  “Oh, I understand now. You want to apologize up front for verbally abusing me again. Okay, got it. Let me sit down. I want to get comfy for this. The last time you—”

  “Ah, fuck.” He strode to the kitchen, yanked open the fridge and grabbed a beer.

  “Sure. Go ahead. Make yourself at home.” Her words came from right behind him.

  He shoved the bottle back into the vegetable drawer.

  “No, I’m serious. Take whatever you want. This home sits on Kagan lands. Everything in it belongs to the pack. I’m just the unwanted human who—”

  “Riley, stop.” He glanced over his shoulder. She stood a couple of feet away, leaning against the center island, her arms crossed under her breasts. “I came here to apologize for hurting you, not to fight with you.”

  She blinked once, then again. “There’s nothing to apologize for. You set me straight the last time you were here.”

  He slammed the fridge closed and dropped his forehead against the cool metal. “I know I said a lot of hurtful things. I almost mated you. I freaked.”

  Silence stretched. After a moment, she laid her hand on his back. “I know. I felt you in my soul. You moved through me, touching me everywhere, completing me, loving me in a way I hadn’t known was possible. Then you yanked back and left me alone.”

  He squeezed his eyelids shut but couldn’t escape the memory. He’d been one with her—body and soul. Awe had swept through him with the confirmation of the truth he’d always known. She was beautiful inside as well as out. In that moment, he’d been ready to toss everything away for her. His wolf had fought him. It didn’t want Riley. He couldn’t fill her with life. The
words he’d spewed had stemmed from how it felt.

  “Mating you would’ve been a mistake.” He gave her the only truth he could. It sure didn’t make it right, but he had nothing else.

  She dropped her hand. “You made that perfectly clear.”

  He faced her. Her expression might not give him any clues, but he had to look into her eyes. He missed them.

  He missed her.

  “I can’t get you pregnant. Human and shifter matings are sterile.”

  She nodded. “Yes, they are, but—”

  “And I need a kid. You understand?”

  Silence and her steady stare answered him.

  He closed the distance between them and cupped her face in his hands. “I shouldn’t have gotten involved with you. I always knew I’d be pack alpha someday.”

  “Again, you’ve told me this.” She covered his hands. “I don’t understand why you feel it’s necessary to bring it up again. I understand the rules. As an honorary member of the pack, I follow them.”

  “Really?” He stroked his thumb over her cheek and enjoyed the glide of her soft skin under his fingertips. “What about the one where I ordered you never to touch another shifter?”

  She frowned. “I was faithful to you. You said so yourself.”

  “I’m talking about after I left. I made it clear to the pack that nobody was allowed to date you.”

  “You’re not alpha yet. Your father explained to his males that your harsh order stemmed from your desire to protect me, not to stop anyone from loving me. He said he’d be honored to welcome me into the pack as the beloved mate of one of his wolves.”

  He stepped closer, forcing her to arch into him. The first brush of her body to his sent energy zinging down his spine. He ignored the instant lust and focused on the way her lashes lowered and lips parted. His cock thickened more with the small confirmation that she still desired him, despite everything he’d done. “My orders will be law soon. Any who think to disobey me will learn their place.”

  “Then it’s a good thing I’m leaving and won’t be under your rule. I have several”—her gaze dropped to his nose—“relationships with shifters that I’d like to continue.”

  He tipped up her chin. “You lie. No shifter could’ve fucked you. They would’ve seen the mark I left on you.”

  A wide grin spread across her face. She linked her hands around the back of his neck and tugged. He took the hint and leaned down. She pressed her mouth to his ear. “Have you fucked other women since you’ve been gone?”

  Fucked was the right term. None had meant anything to him. Hell, he’d barely even spoken to them, just enough to get them naked. “What I’ve done has nothing to do with this conversation.”

  “No, it doesn’t. I was just curious, I suppose.”

  “Jealous?”

  He felt her smile against his neck. “Of knowing other women acted as your sex toys? Not in the least. I had my own selection of cocks to ride.”

  He tightened his hold on her hips. “Enough games. No shifter fucked you. If they had, I would’ve gotten shit from my dad for almost mating you. I didn’t.”

  Human males, on the other hand, probably had. He refused to think about them. Someday she’d marry one. He couldn’t stop her.

  She skimmed her hands over his sides to the waistband of his pants, distracting him from thinking about her and other men. A rough tug and she pulled his sweats down. His cock sprang free. He froze.

  “Riley.” A warning, a question—he couldn’t be sure.

  “Yes?”

  He cleared his throat. “What are you doing?”

  Instead of answering, she gripped his rigid dick. He swallowed a groan. With firm, hard strokes, she worked him. He dropped his head to her shoulder and did his best to ignore the jerking in his cock as she took him to the brink. His balls drew up. He grasped her wrist, stopping her pleasured torture before he exploded. “Jesus, angel, are you trying to punish me?”

  “No. I’m making a point.”

  That she still owned his body, maybe. “And that is?”

  “Patience, Nic.” She swiped her fingertip over the head of his cock and used his precome to lubricate her strokes. He shuddered, and she adjusted her grip to give him the rough tugging he craved. “You’ll see.”

  Much more and he’d come all over her hand.

  “Riley, I…” He couldn’t get the words out. The truth was he didn’t want her to stop. She was touching him, something he never thought he’d experience again. Yeah, she wanted him to hurt. She’d probably take him to the edge and leave him there, unfulfilled and longing for more of her. He didn’t care. He pressed his lips to her throat. “Harder, angel.”

  Instead of pumping him, she used her hold on his dick to urge him closer. Like a damn trained dog, he let her lead him. The head of his cock brushed against her soft belly first, then the rough edge of her cotton panties. She tilted her bottom. His cock slid lower. The heat and wetness of her bare sex greeted him, teasing him with the heaven he’d once known. She rocked over him, bathing his length in her arousal.

  “Aww, shit.” He grabbed her hips to hold her still. Rough breaths sawed past his lips. “Riley, wha—”

  She tightened her grip on the root of his erection, stopping his words. He jerked, pushing his dick deeper. Her drenched lower lips cradled his cock. He locked his muscles before he gave in to his desire to thrust into her.

  “What fucking point are you trying to make?” He panted and fought his instincts. The man was in charge, his wolf buried deep, and Nic wanted to feel the wet grip of Riley’s tight core. “That I still crave you? Well, I do. I could’ve told you that.”

  She squirmed over him, despite the hold he had on her hips. He loosened his grip so as not to hurt her.

  “No, I’m showing you that this is as naked as I have to be for sex. No lover, human or otherwise, has ever seen your bite. I promised you I’d keep it a secret.”

  He dragged his fingertips from her hips up her sides, dragging her top with them. At the edge of her breast, he stopped, not wanting to take her game too far.

  She had a point to make.

  He wanted to love her. Lay her on the table and lick her, head to toe. Spread her thighs and lap up her cream. Fuck her with his tongue, then his cock, making her come for him, over and over. The worst part was in knowing she wouldn’t stop him. Her acceptance slickened his dick, urging him to dip into her sex and reclaim his home.

  He might’ve screwed countless women, but none had gotten his seed. He’d spilled it over their asses or faces. Only Riley ever felt the rush of his release.

  He pressed openmouthed kisses to the slender column of her throat. “I kept mine to you too.”

  She sifted her fingers through the loose strands of his hair. He’d kept it shoulder-length, despite the annoyance of having to take care of it. Riley had preferred it longer, claiming it gave her something to grip while he tongued her clit. He’d never been able to bring himself to cut it off.

  “You made a lot of promises to me. What one are you talking about?”

  He brushed his lips over hers. She parted them on a soft sigh. Another shudder ran through his body. He inhaled, filling his lungs with her breath. “Any lover I took got my dick to ride, but I never came inside them, not even in a condom.”

  Her shaky exhale washed over him. She fisted a section of his hair and yanked. The bite of pain on his scalp whipped through him. He shuddered, pushing the head of his cock into her opening. A tilt of his hips and he’d fill her. His muscles vibrated with the effort it took not to join their bodies.

  “Look at me.”

  Her order smacked him in the gut. He peered at her through his lashes.

  “Why tell me this, Nic?” Her nostrils flared. “I made myself hate you.”

  He laughed. The bitter sound scraped his raw throat. “That was my
hope.”

  “And now?” She shoved away from him. Her shirt fell, covering the body he knew by heart. “You come back and tell me this now? Weeks before you mate another woman? Love her like you promised me?”

  “I won’t love her.”

  “No, you’ll only give her a piece of your soul. Right?”

  Chapter Five

  Nic pressed a balled fist to his chest where Riley’s soul had once moved through his. Their last night together, he’d been two seconds away from linking their life forces, ensuring they lived and died together.

  Soul-bonding them.

  He’d pulled back before completing the ultimate union, but to this day, he swore he felt her there. Impossible, he knew. It was simply a memory, but one he clung to. With it, he didn’t feel so lost.

  Or broken.

  He dropped his hand and shrugged. “Of course. It’s necessary so she can carry my kids.” His stomach churned at the very thought, but he knew it wouldn’t stop him. His pack came before his happiness.

  She held his gaze for a long moment before swallowing loud enough for him to hear. “Will you take a piece of hers?”

  After experiencing the beauty of Riley’s soul? He snorted. “No. Besides, that’d be suicidal.”

  Some emotion flashed in her eyes. Relief? She closed them before he could be sure. “Mates are a weakness. They’re taken for breeding purposes only. That’s what I’ve been told.”

  He nodded. Had his father soul-bonded to his mother, he too would’ve died when she did during Hannah’s birth. “Yes. Did Hannah tell you that?”

  “Does it matter? Like I’d said earlier, I understand the rules.”

  Not all of them, but he wouldn’t volunteer any more secrets about their mating customs. She didn’t need to know all the details. It might give her hope. Truth was, though, they had none.

  “Then you forgive me?” He held his breath. He didn’t specify for what. The list of his sins was too damn long to pick from. Every time he’d let another woman suck his cock, he’d added to it.