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  His image flashed before her with the mere thought of him. Her chest tightened on a wave of conflicting emotions, none of them ones she could allow to take hold. All elicited feelings she had to keep buried deep inside. A lifetime she’d had to develop her mask, but the past four years had perfected it. For a human living among wolves, it was as necessary as breathing.

  The pack that had saved her, adopted her and acted as her family would not think twice about using her intense reactions against her, whether they were ones of sorrow or rage. The shifters did it to each other, often without even recognizing they were reordering the pack based on it. As a human, she was already at the bottom. Looking at it that way, it shouldn’t matter. She knew better. Maintaining appearances made all the difference in the world.

  She had their respect. It turned her from the obligation Nic had once called her to a valued member of the pack, even if she’d never be more than an honorary beta.

  She would not lose her position. Not because of Nic.

  And what does it matter? I just promised to move.

  A sob escaped. She squeezed her eyelids shut and breathed through the sadness overwhelming her.

  She didn’t want to leave her home. She would, though. She had to. No way would she survive seeing Nic with another woman. Anger whipped through her at the thought, replacing the sadness.

  Nic was hers.

  She knew it with every fiber of her being. The certainty had always been hers. Her very first memory had been of him. Hell, her first word had been directed at him. According to Nona, she’d grabbed Nic’s hand while they’d been playing together and said “mine.”

  Hers or not, she’d lost him to his own stubbornness and the role he’d been born into. He would be the next alpha, and he’d made it perfectly clear he would take the position without her.

  She knew why’d tossed her aside. He’d beaten his reasoning into her the day he’d left his scar on her body and soul. She hadn’t argued, knowing his emotions wouldn’t have allowed him to listen to her. She’d planned to talk to him once he’d calmed but never got the chance. He’d left that night, and she was forced to pick up the broken pieces of her life and move on.

  And now he’s back to fuck with my heart all over again.

  She refused to give him the chance to hurt her. The last time had nearly destroyed her. If it hadn’t been for her hobbies and studies, she might’ve done something drastic.

  Her gaze strayed to the picture hanging behind Alex’s desk. She’d painted the portrait of Alex with two black wolves flanking him and had given it to him for Christmas. She’d created a lot of paintings in the last year or so.

  A guy she’d dated while in vet school was an artist. He’d taught her how to use painting as an escape. She’d embraced the hobby, using the canvas and oils to give her dreams life. A natural, he’d called her. She’d soaked up the praise and the attention he’d given her. Her weakened ego at the time had needed it along with the sex he’d offered.

  To her, he’d been a rebound. To him, she was the supposed love of his life.

  She’d dumped him as soon as the words “I love you” came out of his mouth. It’d seemed kinder. She’d never be able to say them back, but the six months she’d spent with him had taught her a valuable lesson: hold her lovers at arm’s length. Most didn’t mind. Those were the ones she added to her go-to list. They rest became one-night stands. No matter how many lovers she took, however, she’d never stopped fantasizing about Nic.

  He owned her.

  Tonight proved she’d never be over him. One touch and she’d fought the urge to throw herself into his arms and beg him to fuck her. The only thing that had stopped her had been his revelation.

  He was taking a mate. He’d love her body. Fill her with life. Share his eternity with her.

  Not me. She clenched her fists and wrapped the anger around her. I won’t let him hurt me, even if I have to slink away from the life I’ve built.

  She could start over. Maybe even give one of the shifters who sometimes graced her bed the chance to earn her love. Dammit, she would survive Nic. Determination added to the rage coursing through her veins.

  She stood and stepped around the boxes on the floor. At the door, she took a deep breath, pushed her volatile emotions back and slipped into the empty hallway. Her hands shook, but with each step, the tremor in them eased. By the time she reached the door leading into the main bar, she’d pulled herself together. It had only taken her a couple of hours. Considering the shit dropped on her tonight, it wasn’t unreasonable, at least in her mind.

  The door flung open with her push. She strode into the main room, head held high, and made her way to the bar as if nothing was wrong in her life. At the counter, she cut a quick peek at her brother. Strangers would never guess they were twins. Alex looked nothing like her. Dark brown hair and eyes, he towered over her and could’ve passed for a shifter. In fact, he was more muscular than many. He pushed himself daily to develop and maintain his physique. Unlike her, however, he didn’t give a shit about earning the shifters’ respect. He did it to protect himself. Many of the unmated males considered him a threat. Hannah wasn’t the only female who favored him.

  Riley sighed. He’d told her years ago he wanted out of the pack. Their rules and hierarchy pissed him off. No matter what he did, he’d never be more than the lowest beta. The daily reminders of his weakness by being born human had made him bitter. He’d only stayed for her. At least her decision to leave would make one of them happy.

  Alex glanced her way. He reached under the counter, pulled out her purse and handed it over without prompting. “Call me later. We need to make arrangements.”

  Because he was going with her. Unspoken, but she didn’t doubt his plan.

  She nodded and made her way to the front door. A few feet from freedom, delicate fingers locked around her wrist in a bruising grip she’d never break. She whipped her head to the side and collided with Hannah’s intense blue eyes. Riley dropped her gaze, a sign of deference to a more dominant pack member and one she only offered when they were around others.

  “Leaving so soon?” Hannah asked.

  “Yes.” Riley tugged to free her hand but shouldn’t have bothered. Hannah’s grip could’ve been an iron shackle. Although smaller than Riley, Hannah held the strength of her wolf, making her the top dominant female of the pack. She was the most vicious too.

  “Then I’ll join you. I’m ready to call it a night anyway.”

  Riley nodded, knowing arguing would be useless. Hannah likely wanted the details of what had gone down in the pool room.

  They slipped out of the bar and walked toward the end of the parking lot. Riley’s SUV sat near a lighted pole. She didn’t fear being attacked while on pack lands, but her human eyesight didn’t offer her the luxury of being able to see in the dark. Her pack members knew that and always left the spot below the lamppost open for her. Alex didn’t need it. He lived in the apartment above the bar.

  Hannah swept her gaze over the cars and woods surrounding them once they reached Riley’s vehicle. No doubt to ensure they had a mediocre amount of privacy. She nodded and leveled her intent stare on Riley. “Are you okay?”

  “Sure.” Riley shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  Hannah leaned against the side of the car, arms crossed over her chest, and raised a brow. “Didn’t Nic tell you why he returned?”

  “Yes, but I don’t have time to talk about it.” Riley selected her car key from the ring and motioned for Hannah to move. “I’m going home to pack.”

  Hannah straightened and dropped fisted hands to her side. “You’re leaving?”

  “Yes. Did you expect me to stay?”

  “Actually, I did.” Hannah stepped forward. “And I expected you to fight for what’s yours.”

  Riley snorted. “If you’re talking about Nic, what good would it do? He made his c
hoice four years ago, and I’m not it.”

  “Nic made his choice long before that, and you’re wrong. It was you.”

  She sighed. “Look, Hannah, I’m not going to argue with you. Nic loved me once. I don’t question that, but he loves the pack more.”

  Hannah opened her mouth then closed it without saying a word.

  “What?” She chuckled. “Not going to try and tell me I’m wrong?”

  “Nic is under a lot of pressure to do what’s right. It has nothing to do with loving you.”

  Riley chuckled. “Oh, thanks. That makes me feel so much better.”

  “I’m not trying to make anything better for you. This is your fight, but I know one thing”—Hannah’s voice took on a low growl—“you walk away from him, you’re a fool.”

  “A fool? I’d be a fool if I stayed and watched Nic mate another woman.” Riley stepped closer, anger vibrating within her, and glared at Hannah. “I’d be a fool if I stayed and had to deliver her baby. I won’t do it, not for you or the pack. I won’t stay and watch Nic live the life he should’ve with me.”

  Hannah held her gaze. Had they not been friends, Riley wouldn’t have dared maintained the challenging stare. They were friends, though. She was grateful too. It didn’t mean she’d stand for her manipulation, even if Hannah had Riley’s best interest at heart.

  “He still loves you.”

  Riley ground her teeth. “Love isn’t enough.”

  She stepped around Hannah’s petite body and opened her car door.

  Once more, Hannah grabbed her hand. “Three months, Riley. I’ll bind myself to a shifter, and Nic can transfer the pack spirit to my mate.”

  Hannah squeezed her wrist, a sign of comfort and one that made Riley’s vision turn blurry. Riley bit the inside of her cheek to stop her sob from escaping.

  “Nic can do that.” Hannah dropped her hand. “Any shifter mated to me can accept our wolf without challenging for it.”

  “And in the meantime?” She hated herself for the surge of hope blooming within her.

  A pleased smile graced Hannah’s mouth. “In the meantime, he’s strong enough to resist the urge to take a shifter mate, but he’s also strong enough to protect his human mate for that long too.” Her grin widened. “Win him over. Break his control. Whatever you have to do, but don’t let him make the worst mistake of his life.”

  Riley studied her for a long moment. She knew for a fact that Hannah still desired Alex. “Why the change of heart? I didn’t think you wanted a shifter mate.”

  Hannah glanced over her shoulder at the bar. She sighed and faced her. “My reasons don’t matter. I want to rule the pack at my mate’s side. If doing so helps you and Nic find happiness, all the better.”

  Part of her wanted to agree, but she also knew Nic. He’d made up his mind. He wanted a shifter mate to bear his child. He would be alpha, no ifs, ands or buts about it.

  Hannah released her and stepped to the side. “Don’t say anything now. Think about what I said. He won’t make any choices until the full moon, anyway.”

  Because conceptions and exchanges of power could only happen on one night of each lunar cycle—the full moon, the night destinies were claimed.

  Riley nodded and slipped inside her SUV.

  Hannah gripped the door before it closed. “And Riley? Don’t hold what he’s done, or the lovers he’s taken, against him.”

  “Yeah, like he won’t hold mine against me, right?”

  “He’d be stupid to think you remained celibate while he was off fucking other women.”

  And if he found out about the shifters from the neighboring packs she’d screwed in her desperate attempt to replace him? Jesus, blood would spill. Or not. Only a possessive male would care, and he’d tossed her away.

  She slammed the door without responding. A twist of her key and the engine turned over, music pumping out of the speakers. The death metal fit her mood. She turned it up and drove, but Hannah’s words repeated in Riley’s head. Damn if she could stop her dreams from seizing her. Then again, if Hannah wanted to rule the pack, she would’ve told Nic about her desires too, and he still planned on claiming a shifter mate.

  She ground her teeth. Pain radiated through her head. She cracked her jaw, easing the tight pressure. No, nothing had changed. She’d lost Nic years ago. Tonight had proved it. The need to protect her had been the only reason he’d cornered her. Nothing in the way he’d touched her or looked at her had hinted at his desire. Anger had radiated from him. She’d defied him. Nothing more.

  A long sigh escaped. He’d barely even reacted to seeing her with another man.

  He was over her. It was long past time she accepted that.

  She pushed the encounter with Nic aside and focused on what needed to be done before she left the pack.

  Her phone rang, pulling her out of her thoughts. She hit the button for the speakerphone.

  “Riley Kagan?”

  The thick voice filled the car, not one she knew. She glanced at the display. A cell phone number showed, no name. “Yes, this is Riley. You are?”

  “Derek Tanner. I understand you treated my younger brother before he died today?”

  Tears blurred her vision. Barely eighteen, the shifter who’d showed up at the hospital door with his guts spilling out would haunt her dreams for years to come. “Donald. Yes, I wish I could’ve helped him. Maybe if someone had driven him to the hospital sooner, I might’ve—”

  “I’m not calling to question your medical qualifications. Donald was weak. He died because of it. That’s not your fault.”

  She tightened her grip on the steering wheel. Curse words whipped through her head. She knew better than to give them life. The Tanner pack had no patience for their weaker members. Had she and Alex been found by them instead of Nona’s late husband, they would’ve left them to die.

  “I appreciate your understanding,” she finally said, because she had to say something.

  He grunted. “The reason I’m calling is to give you a warning.”

  She lifted her foot off the gas, her attention on his words, not the road. “And that is?”

  “Anyone who thinks to return his worthless husk to us will be punished. We will not honor his memory.”

  Fear rushed up. She’d asked Ben to take the body back to his old pack. “Thank you for letting me know.”

  “You are so very welcome, Miss Kagan. Good night.”

  She pulled to the side of the road. Her fingers trembled, but she managed to select Ben’s number from her contact list. It rang several times before he picked up.

  “Ben, turn around. Right now.”

  “Why?”

  She gave him a quick summary of her conversation with Derek. “We’ll have to bury him in the pet cemetery.” She hated the idea of putting the young man in a nameless grave, but her pack wouldn’t accept him into their sacred burial grounds either. “I’ll meet you there in twenty.”

  “You don’t have to come. I can handle it. Donald was from my pack. I’ll honor him if no one else will.”

  “I don’t mind. You’ll need help digging a hole anyway.”

  “Are you saying I’m weak?” His voice went up a notch.

  A lowly beta, Ben was weak. She scrambled for something to say to make up for hurting his pride. “Of course not. I meant it’ll take a while, and I could keep you company while you dig.”

  His long sigh carried over the line. “That’s sweet of you, but I’d really rather do it myself. I was friends with Donald. I’d like to say good-bye.”

  A tear escaped. She blinked rapidly to stop more from falling and making her voice crack. In some regards, Alex was right. Shifter law sucked. “Okay. I’ll talk to you later, then.”

  She ended the call, pulled onto the two-lane highway and drove. The sign for her road came into view. She was tempted to keep drivin
g and just disappear tonight. She couldn’t, though. She had a decision to make.

  Fight for Nic.

  Or herself.

  Chapter Four

  Nic ran through the woods. The broken twigs and rocks poking into his paws barely registered. He pivoted and headed deeper into the underbrush. The sharp pulling of the low-hanging tree limbs on his fur appealed to his need to punish himself. He wanted to hurt. A fight would’ve been better, but he couldn’t go around initiating any. Actions like that would come off as a dominance tactic, and the Kagan males had always held to a higher standard. They understood all members of a pack played a vital role.

  He lowered his head and pushed through the bowing evergreens. An open space greeted him. He froze. Sides heaving and blood soaking his fur, he panted and took in the small home in front of him—Riley’s place. His dad had bought it for her. Last time Nic had seen it was right after she’d moved in. She must’ve remodeled since then. Where the concrete stoop once stood, a wide front porch spanned the house. It looked inviting with the swing and chairs decorating it. He could see himself lounging on it, enjoying the night.

  A low growl rumbled in his chest.

  It didn’t surprise him that he’d ended up here. He hadn’t been able to get thoughts of her out of his head. Guilt ate at him. He’d treated her like shit the last time they were together. She deserved an apology and explanation. If he’d been man enough, he would’ve been straight with her then.

  He padded across the gravel road. On the other side, soft grass met the pads of his paws. Halfway across the front yard, the door opened. Riley stepped out, a bottle of beer in hand. An oversize flannel shirt covered her chest and bare thighs. Jealousy surged, knowing she wore another male’s clothes. Shock replaced it with his next breath. It was his shirt, the one he’d had on the last time they were together.

  She whipped her head in his direction. Narrowed eyes zeroed in on him. They widened on a gasp. She set her bottle down and sprinted across the yard. Her loosely buttoned top gave him a tantalizing glimpse of her legs. He sat on his haunches to watch her, but she reached him before he could decide if the swath of black between her thighs was a thong or a bikini.